Kevin Dorrell, CCIE #20765

09 Feb 2008

Gloom and despondency

Filed under: General — dorreke @ 20:21

It is now 5 days since I set up this blog and I have not written anything in it yet.  I have been a bit despondent, and I am wondering where my studies are going.  I did an NMC CHECKiT lab on Wednesday – the fourth I have done – and was very disappointed with my score. It seems that I am making no progress at all, despite spending large swathes of time in the lab.  It is so frustrating.

I have been looking at my motivation for trying the CCIE.  It is not for the money, and not for any immediate career advancement.  I already have a job that pays reasonably well. I seem to perform my work to the satisfaction of the customer.  My workplace is 12 minutes from home on foot.  My contract that does not expire until 2011.  If I passed the CCIE tomorrow, it would not make one cent difference to my remuneration, nor would it prompt me to go looking for a change.  My motivation is entirely to do with interest in the subject, and a sense of achievement when I understand something.

Does a low score in a CHECKiT (or even in the real thing) really matter then?  Yes it does, because a low score is a blow to the ego, and is terribly demotivating.  For better or for worse, I have chosen the CCIE yardstick to measure my worth, and the yardstick says I do not measure up, nor am I making progress.

So, why do I get such low scores?  OK, there is a lot of the stuff that I still do not know, and I am working on that.  I can handle that.  What I cannot handle is my apparent inability to read the questions and the general conditions.  What I cannot handle is the stupid mistakes: mis-spelt (but consistent) VTP domain names, IP address dyslexia, and the like.  What I cannot handle is the difficulty I have holding the whole scenario in my head as I read it through, and so to correlate requirements that are related.  What I need is not so much time in the lab (although that would not come amiss), but some form of concentration therapy.

But the only way to go is forwards.  I have a lab booking in May – my third attempt.  If I don’t pass, I’m going to have to renew my written, ‘cos if I don’t do that my CCNP will expire.  I hope I can get myself sorted out by then.


1 Comment »

  1. From a motivation perspective, I’m the same boat as you. I’m happy with my job. I make decent money; earning the CCIE designation isn’t likely to change my salary. CCIE for me is a personal quest. I want to as good as I can be, and CCIE is the top of the mountain as best as I can tell.

    Comment by Ethan Banks — 11 Feb 2008 @ 13:02

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